The Road Back From Christmas
by BMillsWrites
Summary: Cody Hida and Ken Ichijouji have a much needed conversation during Ken's Christmas party.


General Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or its characters. Their use in the following work of fiction is for entertainment purposes only.

AN: This was meant to be my annual Christmas story written as a present to anyone who reads my stories on FFN. I know it's much too late for the holidays now, but I wanted to finish and post it. Traditions are important, Cody Hida and I agree on that. I've probably written less fan fiction than in any of the past four years. I've been extremely busy -- including some paid writing -- and that had to take precedence over the recreational writing that I could do. Computer problems plagued me for a time, and forced me to get a new one. Then, shortly before Christmas a major family health crisis demanded all the time I could give it. Come to think of it, this story would have to revolve around Christmas no matter when I wrote it because of the timing that Cody finally begins to accept Ken in the 02 Series. I do promise that I have what will be the 10th and final chapter of Mission Impossible: The Hida Factor in the works. Part of that promise is that I will finish it and post it, so that particular labor of love will be complete. MIHF 10 is already showing signs of complex suspense that I hope will make it a worthy conclusion. That's all coming later. Enjoy! -- BM

On The Road Back From Christmas

On Christmas Eve in Odaiba Japan many children under the age of ten were succumbing to excitement for the next day. The most excitable children were beginning to wear on the nerves of the grown-ups they knew. In contrast to these kids was Cody Hida. It's not that Cody wasn't excited about Christmas. This time of year always made the mannerly nine year-old feel a little less serious about the world. That just wasn't a reason to lose control of his behavior. Cody detoured from excited outbursts by focusing on pragmatic reflection. Christmas was nearly the end of the year, so it was a good time to start thinking about where the year had taken you. This year had definitely taken Cody Hida to places and introduced him to beings he'd never have imagined for himself. As remarkable as the Digital World was, and as great as Upamon and all the other Digimon were to know, tonight the events of his Digidestined year would bring Cody to the most unexpected place yet ... the home of Ken Ichijouji. This wasn't some confrontation between the Digidestined and their evil peer nemesis, the Digimon Emperor. Tonight's event was a Christmas party which Ken was hosting, and Cody was an invited guest.

For the last few days Davis had been constantly hoping out loud that Cody wouldn't back out of going to Ken's party. Yolei hadn't said anything like that, but Cody knew she thought there was a chance he would think his way out of attending. Facts mattered a lot to Cody. One clear fact was his whole team knew the youngster had taken the hardest line on Ken, well past the end of the older boy's imperialism. The youngest Digidestined had grudgingly tolerated Ken's presence when joining the effort to restore the Digital World. The others had tried to encourage mutual cooperation between himself and Ken -- once secretly arranging it with regrettable effect. Such attempts showed Cody what "the problem", as he called it, had become. "The problem" wasn't Ken being part of their Digidestined team now, it was how he and Ken felt about each other. The rest of the newer Digidestined so clearly accepted Ken now that Cody backed off expressing his concerns, but thought about them all the harder. The small boy only meant to let everyone's Digital World work proceed efficiently. However, it also meant that "the problem" just hung between Cody Hida and Ken Ichijouji. The non-confrontationally tense consideration made Cody sure Ken couldn't like him as he seemed to like the others. To be fair, Ken probably felt as hated as ever by the youngster, though that wasn't Cody's current meaning.

None of his older friends really needed to worry. The small boy had every intention of going to Ken's this evening. Ken had extended a formal invitation, with a card and everything. It was the only formally hosted event on Cody's otherwise empty party calendar, so going as invited was good manners. Yet, there was more to the decision than just observing proper form. Cody remembered Ken walking up, giving the smaller boy the party invitation, and especially the way Ken looked when Cody accepted it. The look on Ken's face as he'd extended the invitation expressed need, something that never registered on the Digimon Emperor's cruel features. The Emperor didn't need anyone, but Ken Ichijouji needed Cody Hida at a simple Christmas party. Why? Cody didn't know, but he wanted to understand. Maybe he could find a chance to actually ... talk to Ken about "the problem" at the upcoming party.

Christmas Eve day was filled with details. Was the present he'd gotten to thank Ken for inviting him wrapped neatly enough? Would it travel well? Those were things his Mom helped him with. Was their a formally festive greeting he could offer to Ken's family? Grandpa Hida advised him on that. Was the seating on the busses that would take the "computer club" to Tamachi and back to Odaiba arranged? Were those busses reliably on schedule? Yolei assured him the trip would be no problem. Was Upamon -- who was actually invited to this particular real world event -- prepared to keep a low profile while out in public? The little yellow Digimon promised to be on his best behavior with an overeager yet sincere enthusiasm. Cody saw to each of these with the exacting, determined politeness that the young boy saved for those things he most seriously wanted to go right. Everyone who knew and loved Cody understood that. So, when it was finally time to meet Davis, TK, and Kari then catch the bus to Tamachi, Cody Hida set out thoroughly prepared, secure in his own acceptance ... and at least fourfold reminded to relax and have a good time.

The bus ride itself went well enough. In fact, Cody had to admit to himself that it was ... fun. All of his friends were in such high spirits, particularly Yolei and Davis. It didn't take them long to start with the Christmas carols, soft at first but then more boisterously when the adults on the bus didn't seem to mind. No one seemed to notice that their singing was echoed by certain "equipment" they each carried in their various bags and packs Cody smiled at the antics, and even hummed along quietly. Yolei finally prodded him into singing too with playful nudges of her elbow and silly looks at the choruses. Whenever the group momentarily tired of fast-paced songs, TK and Kari would softly continue with slow ones that seemed to simultaneously come to their minds. For some reason, Cody noticed, their doing that made Davis turn alternately green and red -- and even that seemed appropriate at Christmastime.

They soon reached Ken's apartment building after arriving in Tamachi, Of course, all the new Digidestined had been here at least once. That was just after they'd learned that the Digimon Emperor and Ken Ichijouji were one and the same -- at least then. The young Hida couldn't stop to ponder the difference between between that day and this evening. For one thing, the situation had changed so much between the two visits so comparison wasn't practical now. More immediately, Cody Hida didn't pause to consider because he could not physically come to a halt. His older friends moved as an eager bundle into the apartment building and up to Ken's family apartment. Ready or not, Cody was moved right along with them. They were all being welcomed as guests very quickly.

The greetings and introductions were warm and pleasant. Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji seemed like very nice people. They also seemed very happy -- in an almost relieved way -- that their son was having this party. They promised that they weren't going to intrude on the get-together, but it soon became clear that Mr. Ichijouji didn't mind telling a few sports stories to Davis and TK "before things got rolling." Likewise, Mrs. Ichijouji would not rest if there was some aspect of catering she could see to. Both Yolei and Kari insisted on helping her get these "last minute touches," together. Ultimately, the adults proved they were typical parents of a child Ken's age. They were lovingly capable of instantly embarrassing with both their helpfulness and intention to demonstrate how "with it" they could be. Cody noted Ken's reaction to his parents only because it too was so ... normal. Many times he'd had seen the Digimon Emperor react with rage and even violence at the slightest embarrassment caused by Wormmon. Now, Ken only rolled his eyes and looked flustered. The tall boy quietly pleaded with his Dad to keep the stories short and without exaggeration. He tried politely to hint to his Mom that there was already plenty to eat, but it was no use.

Cody quietly used the diverted attentions to gather the packed Digimon partners safely together while whispering his encouragement to stay still and quiet until the grown-ups did give the kids some privacy. When that task was accomplished the small boy was at a loss. Team sport stories really didn't interest him, and he was shooed back into the Ichijouji living room when benignly not allowed to assist Ken's Mom and the girls with anything. That's when the youngster noticed that Ken wasn't in the living room anymore. A quick look down the apartment's main hallway revealed Ken's bedroom, with its door wide open. Ken was probably there, and Cody knew that there would probably be no better time to attempt the needed talk with him. The youngster walked down the hallway and stopped short of the threshold. Cody knocked with a light wrap on the doorjamb.

"Yes, Cody?" Ken asked instantly, even though his back was to the door and the bedroom mirror was off to the side.

"Can I come in and talk to you Ken? Wait ... how did you know it was me?" Cody asked in return with a trace of matter-of-fact concern.

Ken turned. He didn't look mean, he didn't look angry. Ken looked ... sad, and his certainty in Cody being at the door could not cover the uncertainty behind his sadness now. "It's simple. Davis would have just come in. Yolei and Kari would've come together, and TK would have just asked to come in without the formality of knocking. It could only be you. Of course you can come in. You're my guest tonight Cody."

The young Hida could only nod in agreement. "Oh, OK. Thanks." Cody's short bow acknowledged permission to enter as he stepped inside. "So ... this is your room? It's nice."

Ken smiled at the younger boy's effort at small talk. "Yes, I suppose it is. I haven't spent as much time here this year as my parents think I have, but you know all about that." The tall boy saw Cody Hida tense for a moment, obviously not wanting the exchange to be uncomfortable for his host. "My parents will eventually bow out and the other Digidestined won't let us to be this serious, so we'd better start," Ken recommended.

"Right," Cody nodded. "Ken, you and I still seem to have a problem. For a while I thought we had this problem because I wanted to know why you did everything you did. I'm sorry you couldn't like me because I wanted to know that you really have changed before I accepted the change. Now that I've thought more about it, maybe what I need is to really know you."

Ken Ichijouji truly looked dismayed. "I really don't know what to say to that Cody. You'd like to know everything, or at least know more about me? It's hard to say which request would be easier to answer. I can't tell you why it all happened. I don't even know the why of it all. Bad things happened because I wanted them to, and I applied myself to them. I swear to you that when I was the Digimon Emperor I had no concept of Digimon really existing, or of the Digigital World being anything but a game environment. That sounds like a terrible excuse, but please believe me Cody. Every day I felt like I should have known the truth about the Digital World -- or like I'd somehow known it when I was younger. I just couldn't make myself act like I knew the difference. It was so frustrating. Leafmon's told me that's probably why I was so angry as the Digimon Emperor. I'm also just beginning to understand who I am Cody. I haven't done a very good job of just being Ken Ichijouji in a long time."

"There must be some way I can know you Ken," Cody insisted as matter-of-fact mildly as he could. "We need some common knowledge to fall back on so we'll know we actually like each other."

Ken stepped closer to the Hida boy, "Cody, now that I feel I can like people again, I do like you. I'm glad to know you're trying to like me too. Sure, I was put off a little at first because you didn't trust my help, but Yolei told me you'd come around. She said you like facts and answers, the bigger and more complete the better. I'm sorry I that I can't answer the big 'why' yet, but I hope to some day. Can't that be enough for now?"

Cody Hida sighed, thought for a second, and asked a new question. "Can you answer a smaller 'why' for me tonight Ken?"

"I'll try Cody," Ken responded. He saw the younger boy approve with a nod.

"OK ... Why are you sad tonight? You're having a Christmas party and we all came, even me, so why are you sad right now?"

Ken Ichijouji absorbed Cody's question and turned to take a couple of steps toward the bedroom dresser. This answer bothered Ken too, but there was an answer, so he gave it. "I'm sad because I don't deserve anything about tonight. Deserving Christmas is about being good isn't it? I haven't been good, I've been evil. My parents don't know that, but you do and so do all the other Digidestined. There was every reason not to come tonight. You all still came, and it makes me ashamed of myself. That's why I came back into my room. I wanted to remind myself that I'm lucky not to be the way I was anymore. I can't change what I've done Cody, but I'm going to change what I do from now on. One of those things is helping and being helped. When I was the Digimon Emperor I only wanted to be on top -- alone ... and I was so lonely. Now I can feel friendship and trust being given to me like a gift Cody -- and even if I don't deserve them I'm going to accept them so that I won't ever let being lonely become being so wrong again. I know I'm unworthy, that's why I'm sad. I'm still happy you're all here tonight too ... OK?"

As Cody Hida listened to Ken's answer he focused on Ken with a pondering gaze. However, even though Cody listened to everything Ken said, the smaller boy's attention was drawn to a picture Cody could see on Ken's dresser just beyond the taller boy's arm level, and squarely in the shorter boy's line of sight. Cody normally wouldn't have shifted his gaze, but this picture seemed to have two Kens -- one older and one younger -- standing next to each other. That wasn't possible. Cody quickly realized that only one of the pictured boys, the younger, was Ken Ichijouji. Who was the other one? More importantly, where was the other one -- the older one? Ken's difference in age with this other obviously Ichijouji boy wasn't so much that the elder would be away at school, especially on the night before Christmas. More seriously, there simply was no sign of an older brother living in the house now. Living -- the word rung in Cody's quiet mind like the sound of a shrill bell. Suddenly, things made some terrible sense to the youngster: the pride Ken's Dad took in emphasizing his son's accomplishments; Mrs. Ichijouji's sentimentalism for the presence of children in the home, and Ken's lonely path toward darkness. Cody Hida knew what kind of loss caused a family to behave that way, and observation of Ken now compared to his younger image told the Child of Knowledge whatever happened was the not-distant-enough past. The younger boy returned his gaze to the older one's face. As he did so, Cody told himself something so quietly that it was barely a whisper -- even for him. Someone more fanciful might have called it an invocation of forgiveness. However, Cody considered it to be completing the equation he needed for his own answer to 'the problem' he had with Ken Ichijouji. "Saying yes to evil is always wrong, but it's not fair using someone's loss to push a person toward evil either." The tall boy didn't hear Cody, but the young Hida knew the specific thing he needed to tell the reforming older boy. It began simply enough, and a just a little louder, "OK, Ken."

"That seemed like a long way to just say OK Cody," Ken observed, "What else were you saying?"

The younger boy carefully shared his newest consideration in an honest way that still wouldn't hurtfully make Ken confirm or deny Cody's speculations if the taller boy wasn't ready to do that. "Well, what it comes down to is that I think it takes real wisdom to not be used by evil -- and Christmas proves that."

Ken didn't follow the young Hida's thinking. "Cody I never said I was being used by evil -- as far as I know I was doing it all myself."

"You said that you really don't know why it all happened Ken, so maybe you were being used by a bigger evil. It's something we both have to consider as a possibility. Anyway, the important thing is you've decided to get off the evil path and take a different road back to where you need to be."

Ken nodded firmly , and the serious look on his face softened into a smile. "Yes ... yes I am Cody. I promise I am, or at least I'm really trying. What made you think of putting it that way?"

Even Cody Hida's shrugs looked serious. "Christmas, like I said. Remember the three Wise Men? Well, before they got where the star was leading them they stopped and asked this other king, Herod. King Herod asked the Wise Men to come back and let him know where the new baby king was. Herod tried to mislead the Wise Men, but he really wanted to get rid of the baby king. The Wise Men figured Herod out though -- and they took a different way back to where they came from after their Christmas visit. That's all I think you need to do now Ken. Find your different road back at Christmastime, and just stay on it."

Ken Ichijouji was impressed. "That's very adept thinking Cody. I'm honored that you've applied it to me. Didn't the Wise Men get tipped off to Herod by a dream?

Cody nodded. "Yes, that's right, but don't worry Ken. You'll have plenty of help with the Digidestined on your side." The youngster had barely finished speaking when he and Ken both heard Davis shouting from the living room, trying to locate them. "Of course, some of your help isn't quite so heavenly."

Both boys also heard Yolei firmly hush Davis in a with a tone almost as loud as his shout. The exchanges between Yolei and Davis continued as it became clear the tall girl was coming down the hallway. She popped her head through the doorway of Ken's bedroom. "There you two are. Oh wow, I can't believe I'm looking into Ken's bedroom. Did I just say that out loud? Don't answer that Cody! Anyway, Ken's Mom says the dinner part of this party is ready now, so we can eat. Say, what have you two been doing back here? I don't see any bruises or tears, thank goodness."

"Thank you Yolei. Cody and I have just been discussing ... inspirational literature. We're fine, aren't we Cody?"

The youngster nodded. "Yes, I think we are Ken, but maybe we shouldn't be so serious tonight." He could almost be accused of joking, but he wasn't.

Ken agreed. "Very well, we won't do anything more combative than play Go Fish tonight." Ken noted one more thing as he walked past Cody to the girl. "Granted, some of my help is very down to earth, but I think it does have some angelic potential." The tall boy added, "Yolei, allow me to escort you to the table."

Cody Hida had one more thing to tell himself before he could shake off his surprise, "Oh well, one problem at a time."


End file.
